no, really? Oh come on man!

When I saw this last week I just could not believe it. Seriously He-man, Smurfs, E.T.,  G.I.Joe, comic books all satanic? REALY!?!? is it possible that these things could be simply taken at face value? I mean you get upset because a 2 year old has more interest in He-Man than in reading the bible.  You know children also have more interest in playing with an iPad than they do with reading the great works of literature. Well at least this kind of right wing religious nut job bullshit is a thing of the past. Right.

O.K. I stand corrected. If this kind of film proves anything (besides a perfect example of Poe's law in action!) it is that religion can be just as dangerous to kids as any other fanaticism. if it's all the same I'll keep my He-Man toys, and not force my kids into a make believe Jyhad O.K.? 

The League of Extrodinary Bloggers- Waddaya Want?

Thinking immediately about Babylon-5, I have to reply "Do not ask this question again!" but seriously, I don't do a ton of garage sales, mostly because i am disappointed in the ones I have gone to recently. However dreams chance and all, I would love to walk into a garage sale, or thrift shop and find this-

The play make SDF-1 playset, it was a cardboard monstrosity that spans 5' in length and designed to serve as a toybox as well as a massive anime themed playset. I had one but it was destroyed in the move of 1991, and honestly I think finding another one would be slightly harder than brokering peace in the middle east, and stopping the government shutdown simultaneously. This want is only exacerbated by paladium's release of Robotech RPG tactics, a miniatures game set in the Robotech world. This would be an amazing piece of terrain to use with the 1.5 inch mecha of that game. Imagine it, swarming with advancing Zentraedi battlepods, and the Veritechs desperately defending their adopted home. god it makes me want to cry.

But there is no point crying over spilled milk, or lost massive space battle cruisers. Of course there are other things I would happy to find as well, such as many of these beauties.

 Starcom was a line of toys by Coleco, maker of the Cabage patch kid, and of course the Coleco Vision. The line was more or less a group of slightly smaller than M.A.S.K. sized astronaut figures with very cool vehicles. Besides some amazing designs, including vehicles designed for modular deployment, many vehicles had movement actions using wind up motors to simulate slow openings or movements like a space vehicle, why no one before or since has employed this is a mystery. The Starmax bomber, one of the coolest vehicles in the line is pictured above, but there are quite a few very cool vehicles, they also sported metal panels and the figures had magnetic feet. This allowed them to look like they were doing space walks and the like, very cool. but also very overpriced on Ebay, so...

So that's my quick list. Here's what the rest of the league wants-

The Garage Sale of Awesome hunts the deadly NES (the most Dangerous game!) 
The Thirtyish year old boy pines about Star Wars figures
Jamie looks for Hannah Swanson books
The Nerd Cantina want's everything...
The Nerd Nook is in it for the nostalgia. 
The Nerd out of time is on the hunt for legos (and Snozzberries!)
Goodwill Hunting for Geeks, looks for a lot including Madballs 
Kal doesn't want to rebuild him despite having the technology. 
and
My Vintage Toybox is on the hunt for Shogun Warriors, Battle Beasts and Jem! 

Nerd Praise Part 2: Mego

SO I really enjoyed writing that blog about Mike Pondsmith and R. Talsorian games, and it got me thinking. part of having nerd rage against the way my favorite characters, comics and properties are treated is due to how I viewed such things when I was younger. Had I no passion or love for say DC Comics, why would I blog about what a travesty casting Ryan Reynolds in it was. I also Didn't like him in Waiting,or Van Wilder  which were both pretty shitty movies, but as I did not care about the idea of the film before, Ryan Reynolds' sub par performances weren't sending me into any Nerd Rage at all, just a meh, and a turn of the channel. So in that spirit I think it's important to look at things that made me the Nerd so willing to Rage that I am today, and this next one is a subject near and dear to any true geeks heart. They are the source of so many of my own childhood memories, and even today I collect them obsessively. so without further adeiu, here is my next nerd praise, Mego!

Mego is best known for their ubiquitous 8" action figures. Sure they were hardly the first to come up with the idea of a 8" "action figure" with removable clothing, but they were the best known, and best loved. Starting in 1971, Mego began using their own brand of 8" figure under the name Action Jackson, as a cheap way to get some of that filthy G.I. Joe luchre. Taking a less military vibe Action Jackson like Mattel's own Big Jim, was more generic man of action than say specific military man. His comercial's jingle, "Think of what you want to be, then call on me!"sent kids into action but this was not their hot ticket item.

However Action Jackson would lay the groundwork for their use of the same figure's body to take on licenses such as Wizard of Oz, The Waltons, and of course the world's greatest Superheroes. Not until Wizkids' collectable miniatures game heroclix would we see a company hold both Marvel and DC licenses. using the same small amount of separate bodies and different costumes Mego was able to make a host of different heroes from both comic companies cheaply and easily. Superman, Spiderman, Batman and Robin all shared the same body, with different heads, possibly re-colored hands and different costumes/ accessories.

The result was lightning in a bottle. Mego's figures were not the best sculpted, not the greatest articulation but they were very well done for the time and inexpensive enough for most kids to get ahold of. And just look at these cool commercials.

Mego also got some other great licenses in Star Trek, Planet of the Apes, Dukes of Hazard, and C.H.I.P.S. They were also great at reusing parts for different effects. the Star Trek Gorn Figure was a Marvel Lizard painted brown and wearing a Klingon uniform with Klingon Phaser and Communicator. The Mugato, was a special set of head and feet placed on a figure wearing the Cochise costume from thier wild west series. in short making customs from their own library of parts the way later fans would do. In fact as a kid I used to pop the heads off of them and try to change them around, (when yeah, changing costumes would have probably been easier,)  and eventually I would need my mom's help to put the head back on, but using fonzie's body for superman, he could give the rest of the Superfriends a Thumbs up! Years later as my mom would chide me for it I would explain the hobby of action figure customizing, declaring my five year old self as ahead of my time.

Mego dies some time in the early 1980s killed by financial trouble and a lack of hit toys to put them back in the game as Star Wars and GI Joe/ Transformers would take the spotlight. It was a time when small stores kept toys on the shelf for years as opposed to today where a line may be lucky to have a shelf life of a year. Look at the playmates Star Trek movie figures, for example killed in one wave, and hasbro who has the license and could make 3.75" Star Trek Figures in the same quality as Star Wars/ GI Joe, has held off due to the volatile nature of the industry. instead just a few freaking Kreo Toys and some squishy crap. It really makes me nostalgic for what Mego accomplished, sure they had their share of flops (Cher, and Jordache anyone) but they inspired a slew of customizers, hobbyists and fans. even today EMCE, Mattel, Zica, TV Classic Toys, Bif Bang Pow, and others are making mego style figures to fill the gap left by this once great company. Even some obscure but cool figures like my 8" Big Lebowski (Complete with Rug!), or the Real Ghostbusters, and Sam Jones' Flash Gordon. So While many have written more about them, and there are plenty of people still supporting them (Doctor Mego, and Mego Museum just for starters!) I felt like I could not call my self a geek, or have any street cred as a geek without a bit of waxing nostalgic about them. In fact when Bif Bang Pow got the license for the venture brothers I had hoped that for the San Diego Comicon Exclusive they would do The Alchemist and Jefferson twilight as a repainted Mego Falcon and Spock, as Doctor Orpheus had made as demonstrations of potential merchandising. God I love that show, and the fact that they love mego and it shows in the series made me all that more excited to get the mego ventrue bros!

My top ten dream products that I seriously doubt will ever get made.

O.k corporate America! Prove me wrong! I would gladly throw my hard earned monies at any of these projects, but I have serious doubts that you would want to make them. Maybe it's because I am alone in my desire, or maybe you just don't wanna anyway here is my list of things I would throw my money at if some one would just freaking make!

10- Asian themed terrain (that is easy to get)
As  a miniatures wargamer, this is an era that I tend to gravitate to, and finding even a small amount of terrain at decent cost is damn hard. I mean, really? look at european fantasy stuff and you can find tons, from GW made wizards towers to  hobbit holes, but Samurai have to for the most part fight on open planes unless I want to track down a few obscure game companies and drop some serious coin. I just did a kickstarter for a company that looks promising, but still have not heard back from the promised "few minutes" to set up an account. GRRR!

9- Mego firefly figures.
Toys are another obsession of mine, as is firefly. And when companies recently started to repro mego's iconic designs and merge them with about every damn license they can come up with Space 1999, I Love Lucy, Married with Children (Really we needed a freaking bud bundy figure, but My desire for an 8" Malcolm, or River goes unheeded) and even the Big Lebowski getting some Mego love it blasts me that few have thought this would not sell especially considering the severe lack of figs for firefly with it's rather large fanbase. I find it hard to believe I am alone on the venn diagram between loves firefly, and collects megos!

8- Mego game of thrones figures
Same as above, I know some people have customed both but I want to BUY some, I don't have time to custom like I used to, so why not make them Django Unchained got Megos and the movie hadn't even been released yet, both of these have established fanbases!! Listen to me oh makers of fine retro figures, if you build them I will buy!!!!!

7- A remake of the playmake SDF1
With the Robotech minis game kickstarter ending over $1,000,000+ over target needed this would be an awesome product for terrain at 5.5 ft long, and made of cardboard it can't be super expensive unlike say a reissue of the USS Flagg for G.I. Joe Fans (which would probably be in the same costs bracket as the new X-box one. and the internal storage would be awesome for battlefoams, I have a feeling IF I am lucky enough to find one of these on eBay, I will be paying through the nose for it!

6- A good battletech themed Clix game
I think Wizkids completely missed the mark on this one. Mage Knight (their first game) was a unique game with a focus on small tactics. IN fact seeing as they were formerly FASA, using this game for Shadowrun minis would have been great. instead they made a shadowrun game with 6" figures, and removable gear, it flopped. It flopped because unlike their other games it was not blind packed so even if you bought the whole set (both series) you were done after $120, where the smaller heroclix and mechwarrior could have you spending easily twice that to get a set. So the smart move would be to make shadowrun a warband game with blind packs like heroclix, and for mechwarrior use the 6" model for mechs (as mechs can repainted and resold with no need to retool, and players may want multiple mechs where there is no need or reason to buy more than one individual character) then blind pack the infantry and small vehicle assets, and voila, more unique game with far more profitability. and if set at 28mm players will buy more figs as they can be used for other games. but what the hell do I know both games failed. So clearly they went the best way.

5- Star Trek :Intrepid
Simple Idea. The new Trek created a new timeline. That means everything has changed right? So a TV series about Commadore Decker's crew could be cool for so many reasons. 1- it would be cool to see a different crew, a normal crew, not the best of the best crew. 2- seeing more classic Trek and a fresh take on it would be excellent, and casting the crew from Firefly is one way to bring the fans of both. Fillian could make a great Matt Decker, and Gina Torrez as 1st officer Sloan (great grand daughter of Lilly Sloan, Zephram Cochrane's assistant from first contact) and they could even do the pilot with a more positive end to the doomsday machine bit in which in the original timeline Decker sacrificed himself after his crew died. We know the cast has chemistry, we know there are great Star Trek Writers who could put this crew into the forefront, with the possible cameos by the movie crew. seriously why would this not be awesome!?!?

4- Peepshow and That Mitchell Webb look on US DVD, or Blu Ray, or digital downloads.
Two of my favorite british TV shows and no (legal) way to get them where is the F***ing justice in this people? I am not asking to pirate it I am looking to buy legal from iTunes or Best Buy. OH COME ON PEOPLE!!!

3- Bring back M.A.S.K.
So we got GI Joe 25th anniversary, and Transformers 25th anniversary, rebuilding the classic brands. but M.A.S.K. had the awesomeness of both GI Joe and Transformers, and yet it has been relegated to one figure in the GI Joe 25th anniversary. I know make the figures bigger and the vehicles (biggest selling point of M.A.S.K.) more expensive. but even if we retool them at the new styles, it could work.

2-Barry Ween: Boy Genius, Animated! 
Think Dexter's Lab meets south park. Judd Winnizk's Barry Ween was a brilliant comic that is dying to be made into a TV series on say adult swim or Comedy Central. more clever than South Park, or Family Guy, Fall on your ass funnier than The Big Bang Theory. an 8 year old with an IQ of 400+ and his hyperactive doofus best friend who normally screws things up. Honestly this needs to be made!

1- a (GOOD) Green Lantern Movie
Yup! I am beating a dead horse on this one, lucky for me I have my necronomicon handy to raise said horse from the dead sos I can beat it again! Seriously people how hard would this be to do a direct to video cartoon got it right, but your multi million dollar  coke addled studio comes up with "Hey let's make Hal Van Wilder!" Then people wonder why the hell I nerd rage like I do!

If Hasbro was smart...

Recently hasbro released a toyline called Kre-o, which is their attempt to rival that perennial brand lego. Unlike their previous attempt, called Built to Rule, This one employs minifigs and has been more successful. Another key difference with lego is that the brand has only produced products based on Hasbro owned intellectual properties. This includes Transformers and Gi Joe, which have done well so far, Battleship (which tanked like the movie) and the newest sets, based on Star Trek, which will most likely sell as it's the closest we will get to Star Trek Legos and having a legoeque Enterprise to sit next to your lego Star Destroyer would be cool. The benefits of toys like lego and other building toys for a toy manufacturer is clear, the pieces can be repurposed by both the end user and by the manufacturer. Those grey bricks from the failed battleship line can still make use in Star Trek as starship hull parts. and the mini figures for the most part can be repainted with rare exception, requiring only a few potentially unique parts. So with this in mind I think Hasbro would do well to make sets based on some of their properties from the 1980s that don't get as much love. After all by continuing production does help with copyright claims and it does not require a full retool to make figures for a line in this format. also these figures can help to gauge interest in possible re release as full toy lines. here are a few of their lines that would make excellent Kre-o fodder.

5- M.A.S.K. Originally held by Kenner, this line was part of the buyout of Kenner by Hasbro, and in it's day was every bit as popular as G.I.Joe and the Transformers. In short M.A.S.K. was an espionage variant on the G.I. Joe theme with the mobile armed strike kommand taking on the forces of Venom, each having vehicles and accessories capable of transformations from mundane vehicles or terrain into combat vehicles and weapons emplacements. also the heroes has special helmets or "masks" that gave special powers to the user. while they did release the leader of M.A.S.K. as specialist Trakker in the GI Joe 25th anniversary line, this never panned into retooled or rereleased full sets, probably because it was cost prohibitive to retool some of the bigger toys to the larger 3.75" figure scale, mask figures were like 2.5" or so. but as kits even big sets like boulder hill could be released more cost effectively and they can be made mostly out of bricks they already produce.

4-Inhumanoids Created and sold about the same time as Jem, Inhumanoids were about a group of adventurer geologists called earth corps, who are defending the earth from the subterranean evils of the inhumanoids Metlar, Tendrill and D-Compose. along with other heroes and villians in the line it was pretty ambitious in it's day for it's 14" monsters like the repainted Tendrill above, but the line was not a huge seller. In a lego scale, titanic monsters could be kits more like lego's bionica or hero factory lines. more heroes and minions for the villains could be produced easily at lego scale and more cost effectively. Leading to the never released 2nd line and possibly more.

3- Visionaries Knights of the Magical light. as they were also known were a line of techno-fantasy figures that used holograms on their chests and banners to call forth magical forces. Hologram stickered kre-o figures and toys would be a breeze. Vehicles and figures again easily repurposed, and viola, fan favorite back at small cost.

2- C.O.P.S. vs CROOKS Another old school 1980s toy line that fits the G.I. Joe Mold, C.O.P.S. was about surprisingly enough police officers in the future facing off against a cartoony mob of villains for control of Empire city. Again Easy fodder for a legoeque re release.,

1- Sky Commanders Another kenner buy out and not extremely popular in it's day but it's main gimmick (I.E. zip lines)  has a high play value and is supremely easy to replicate on the smaller scale. It is probably more likely to work on the kre-o scale than in the M.A.S.K. Scale they originally sold in. this and selling blind bagged figures for these lines (like they do for transformers, GI Joe, and Star Trek) could allow them to hold on to their copyrights and put out some amazing kits. Well that's my opinion anyway.

Who would win?

My Money's on Brock, I took this shot for a photo contest on action figure insider, I was told I won, but never got my prize. Bastards!

Toys I should have held on to...

Ah memories

I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT!

What else can I say here, except JOY!