Wednesday, May 22, 2013

My top ten dream products that I seriously doubt will ever get made.

O.k corporate America! Prove me wrong! I would gladly throw my hard earned monies at any of these projects, but I have serious doubts that you would want to make them. Maybe it's because I am alone in my desire, or maybe you just don't wanna anyway here is my list of things I would throw my money at if some one would just freaking make!

10- Asian themed terrain (that is easy to get)
As  a miniatures wargamer, this is an era that I tend to gravitate to, and finding even a small amount of terrain at decent cost is damn hard. I mean, really? look at european fantasy stuff and you can find tons, from GW made wizards towers to  hobbit holes, but Samurai have to for the most part fight on open planes unless I want to track down a few obscure game companies and drop some serious coin. I just did a kickstarter for a company that looks promising, but still have not heard back from the promised "few minutes" to set up an account. GRRR!

9- Mego firefly figures.
Toys are another obsession of mine, as is firefly. And when companies recently started to repro mego's iconic designs and merge them with about every damn license they can come up with Space 1999, I Love Lucy, Married with Children (Really we needed a freaking bud bundy figure, but My desire for an 8" Malcolm, or River goes unheeded) and even the Big Lebowski getting some Mego love it blasts me that few have thought this would not sell especially considering the severe lack of figs for firefly with it's rather large fanbase. I find it hard to believe I am alone on the venn diagram between loves firefly, and collects megos!

8- Mego game of thrones figures
Same as above, I know some people have customed both but I want to BUY some, I don't have time to custom like I used to, so why not make them Django Unchained got Megos and the movie hadn't even been released yet, both of these have established fanbases!! Listen to me oh makers of fine retro figures, if you build them I will buy!!!!!

7- A remake of the playmake SDF1
With the Robotech minis game kickstarter ending over $1,000,000+ over target needed this would be an awesome product for terrain at 5.5 ft long, and made of cardboard it can't be super expensive unlike say a reissue of the USS Flagg for G.I. Joe Fans (which would probably be in the same costs bracket as the new X-box one. and the internal storage would be awesome for battlefoams, I have a feeling IF I am lucky enough to find one of these on eBay, I will be paying through the nose for it!

6- A good battletech themed Clix game
I think Wizkids completely missed the mark on this one. Mage Knight (their first game) was a unique game with a focus on small tactics. IN fact seeing as they were formerly FASA, using this game for Shadowrun minis would have been great. instead they made a shadowrun game with 6" figures, and removable gear, it flopped. It flopped because unlike their other games it was not blind packed so even if you bought the whole set (both series) you were done after $120, where the smaller heroclix and mechwarrior could have you spending easily twice that to get a set. So the smart move would be to make shadowrun a warband game with blind packs like heroclix, and for mechwarrior use the 6" model for mechs (as mechs can repainted and resold with no need to retool, and players may want multiple mechs where there is no need or reason to buy more than one individual character) then blind pack the infantry and small vehicle assets, and voila, more unique game with far more profitability. and if set at 28mm players will buy more figs as they can be used for other games. but what the hell do I know both games failed. So clearly they went the best way.

5- Star Trek :Intrepid
Simple Idea. The new Trek created a new timeline. That means everything has changed right? So a TV series about Commadore Decker's crew could be cool for so many reasons. 1- it would be cool to see a different crew, a normal crew, not the best of the best crew. 2- seeing more classic Trek and a fresh take on it would be excellent, and casting the crew from Firefly is one way to bring the fans of both. Fillian could make a great Matt Decker, and Gina Torrez as 1st officer Sloan (great grand daughter of Lilly Sloan, Zephram Cochrane's assistant from first contact) and they could even do the pilot with a more positive end to the doomsday machine bit in which in the original timeline Decker sacrificed himself after his crew died. We know the cast has chemistry, we know there are great Star Trek Writers who could put this crew into the forefront, with the possible cameos by the movie crew. seriously why would this not be awesome!?!?

4- Peepshow and That Mitchell Webb look on US DVD, or Blu Ray, or digital downloads.
Two of my favorite british TV shows and no (legal) way to get them where is the F***ing justice in this people? I am not asking to pirate it I am looking to buy legal from iTunes or Best Buy. OH COME ON PEOPLE!!!

3- Bring back M.A.S.K.
So we got GI Joe 25th anniversary, and Transformers 25th anniversary, rebuilding the classic brands. but M.A.S.K. had the awesomeness of both GI Joe and Transformers, and yet it has been relegated to one figure in the GI Joe 25th anniversary. I know make the figures bigger and the vehicles (biggest selling point of M.A.S.K.) more expensive. but even if we retool them at the new styles, it could work.

2-Barry Ween: Boy Genius, Animated! 
Think Dexter's Lab meets south park. Judd Winnizk's Barry Ween was a brilliant comic that is dying to be made into a TV series on say adult swim or Comedy Central. more clever than South Park, or Family Guy, Fall on your ass funnier than The Big Bang Theory. an 8 year old with an IQ of 400+ and his hyperactive doofus best friend who normally screws things up. Honestly this needs to be made!

1- a (GOOD) Green Lantern Movie
Yup! I am beating a dead horse on this one, lucky for me I have my necronomicon handy to raise said horse from the dead sos I can beat it again! Seriously people how hard would this be to do a direct to video cartoon got it right, but your multi million dollar  coke addled studio comes up with "Hey let's make Hal Van Wilder!" Then people wonder why the hell I nerd rage like I do!


  1. I'm dying to know: where did that photo come from with the MASK figures?

  2. Check out for some older mask goodness and the various Bring back MASK Campaigns out there. and the tags on FB and Twitter. #assemblemask #Hasbro #MASKComics

  3. Have you tried to use the Clickytech units with the Alpha Strike Rule system from Catalyst. A scaled up version of Battleforce and is quite quick and bloody.