Saturday, March 16, 2013


I wrote this list along time ago, seemed like something fun to share with the whole community, enjoy...

  • If you own more spandex than the US national Gymnastics team
  • If you have ever used heat ray vision to make Jiffy Pop™
  • If you live in constant fear that your senile aunt will find your web shooters rather than that stack of playboys under your bed.
  • If your last girlfriend and you broke up after your clone, bent on revenge tried to kill her.
  • If the police contact you via signals in the sky
  • If you refer to the threat of alien invasion as the messiest part of the profession.
  • If your shopping list includes weapons grade plutonium, or high level mutagens
  • If you keep your wallet in your belt right next to your grappling hooks.
  • If you have ever put Throws shield well, or Fires plasmatic blasts on your resume.
  • If you have come back from the dead more times than Christ.
  •  If your other car is a Batmobile.
  • When you hear a fire alarm you immediately proceed to the nearest broom closet or phone booth.
  • If you are bummed by fact that your latest exploits were relegated to the second page on most major newspapers.
  • If Shaving your legs is literally an all day job.
  • If you have ever had to suffer through cowl hair or mask hair
  • If you are on a first name basis with any herald of Galactus.
  • If you are on a first name basis with Galactus
  • If you’ve ever been a herald of Galactus
  • If you have ever had to train your pets to diffuse bombs or attack thugs.
  • If you ever doubled over with laughter while listening to Aquaman complain about his lame ass powers.
  • If you feel naked without a layer of reinforced spandex under your clothes.
  • If you got your degree from the Xavier school for gifted youngsters.
  • If your biggest concern during rush hour traffic is accidentally hitting the weather copter at mach 3,
  • If you have ever had to swing home after a hard day of work.
  • If you are nigh invulnerable
  • If you have a secret origin story
  • If your secret origin has ever been rebooted or retconned.
  • If after being responsible for a friend’s hair loss he has ever turned on you to become a criminal master mind and your greatest foe.
  • If losing your jewelry has an earth-shaking ramification.
  • If you have trouble talking about your childhood as your secret origin has been rebooted several times.
  • If you are worried that your significant other will find out about you’re alternative lifestyle because they may not understand that with great power comes great responsibility.
If you have two homes one in the city and one called your Fortress of Solitude.

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