I wrote this list along time ago, seemed like something fun to share with the whole community, enjoy...
- If you own more spandex than the US
national Gymnastics team
- If you have ever used heat ray
vision to make Jiffy Pop™
- If you live in constant fear that
your senile aunt will find your web shooters rather than that stack of
playboys under your bed.
- If your last girlfriend and you broke up after your clone, bent on revenge tried to kill her.
- If the police contact you via
signals in the sky
- If you refer to the threat of alien
invasion as the messiest part of the profession.
- If your shopping list includes
weapons grade plutonium, or high level mutagens
- If you keep your wallet in your belt
right next to your grappling hooks.
- If you have ever put Throws shield
well, or Fires plasmatic blasts on your resume.
- If you have come back from the dead
more times than Christ.
- If your other car is a Batmobile.
- When you hear a fire alarm you
immediately proceed to the nearest broom closet or phone booth.
- If you are bummed by fact that your
latest exploits were relegated to the second page on most major
newspapers.
- If Shaving your legs is literally an
all day job.
- If you have ever had to suffer
through cowl hair or mask hair
- If you are on a first name basis
with any herald of Galactus.
- If you are on a first name basis
with Galactus
- If you’ve ever been a herald of
Galactus
- If you have ever had to train your
pets to diffuse bombs or attack thugs.
- If you ever doubled over with
laughter while listening to Aquaman complain about his lame ass powers.
- If you feel naked without a layer of
reinforced spandex under your clothes.
- If you got your degree from the
Xavier school for gifted youngsters.
- If your biggest concern during rush
hour traffic is accidentally hitting the weather copter at mach 3,
- If you have ever had to swing home
after a hard day of work.
- If you are nigh invulnerable
- If you have a secret origin story
- If your secret origin has ever been
rebooted or retconned.
- If after being responsible for a
friend’s hair loss he has ever turned on you to become a criminal master
mind and your greatest foe.
- If losing your jewelry has an
earth-shaking ramification.
- If you have trouble talking about
your childhood as your secret origin has been rebooted several times.
- If you are worried that your
significant other will find out about you’re alternative lifestyle because
they may not understand that with great power comes great responsibility.
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