Friday, March 22, 2013

Can someone please explain this to me...

Why does hollywood screw up so many live action films so poorly and then turn good scripts into animated "throw away" direct to video releases? Take a look at a Few here for examples. When Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings were in production Wizards of the Coast scooped them both with the Dungeons and Dragons film, now with hundreds of D&D novels and well loved characters like Rastelin, or Elminster or Even Dritz (who I am not a fan of) what would the production staff choose to do? a full live action Dragons of Autumn Twilight (first Dragonlance novel) might have made tons of new fans for the venerable series of D&D books, What bout Live action Dritz? or at least set it in the Forgotten Realms and have a cameo by Elminster right? Nah! whole new world whole new story, screw thousands of fan favorite ideas that were already time tested for what? For this!
Total crap, cheezy story, dialogue Adam West wouldn't be caught dead saying and oh yeah nothing says most venerated fantasy game of all times like Marlon Wayans as comic relief. This movie was paper thin fantasy with almost no real connection to Dungeons and Dragons at all other than authorized by the license holders. And what about Margret Weis' and Tracey Hickman's seminal fantasy work that prettymuch launched D&D novels into the main stream, well they get this.

SERIOUSLY!?! A live action film of this could have been amazing and calling Dungeons and Dragons: Dragons of Autumn Twilight would have gotten just as many if not more into the theatre than offering Marlon Wayans as comic relief. In retrospect Lord of the rings spawned 3 more sequels in the Hobbit, and the D&D movie had 1 direct to TV movie on SYFY. maybe there is a lesson here. 

Same can be said of G.I. JOE- At the time that steaming turd of a movie was getting released Warren Ellis of R.E.D. and Transmetropolitan fame penned G.I. Joe Resolute an incredibly well done script that shows a more real and mature version of the 1980's cartoon. It was as good of a reboot story as Ron Moore's take on Galactica. So what happened, direct to video cartoon that bad boy, it starts with crap like Major Blood being found dead on the steps of the Lincoln memorial, and Cobra Commander Blowing up Moscow. It includes a serious and feasible plot, but retains the boyish action roots of the cartoon, so show it once on adult swim and bury it in the back bins of your local Wal-Mart because what we need in a G.I. Joe film is MORE MARLON WAYANS!!!
YEP Marlon Wayans is the perfect man to play ginger paratrooper ripcord, and while we are at it let's make the Baroness as American as we can get her, and a completely non ironic Team America attack on Paris moment, ignore any sense of lore the cartoon or comic made to make a film. People will go because it's a popcorn film tons of action and fun. right? and if this works we can apply the same logic to making a movie based on the game Battleship! 

Toys and Games aren't Immune Wonder Woman almost had the same issue but thankfully the new TV show did not get to see the air. but here is a shot of the costume they had chosen. 
YUP! Kinda looks like a slightly more modest bad halloween costume, she was also supposed to fight Elizabeth Hurley who was to play some evil makeup corperation owner. because you know chick superheroes can only fight chick supervillians and this unflappable logic worked with Sharon Stone in Catwoman so well. But to DC's credit an animated film with Nathan Fillion as Steve Trevor did come out and focus on what makes the character cool. It was like a blueprint for how to make a good live action film for a character so few people outside of comics really get. A live action film like this could be easily as good as Thor was for Marvel but alas, it's a one shot, forget about it find it on clearace in the big bins at Wal-Mart.  Here is a small clip. 

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