Lets be fair, there are some characters who we all love, and some that are just a flash in the pan, but some are pushed and held up as nerd icons and shoved down our collective throats to the point we couldn't care less about their latest exploits, or how cool most people seem to think they are. In short they are over rated.
5- Chuck Norris- Instead of a chin, he has another fist? He invented rap music when his heart started beating? Oh come on! am I the only one who is sick and tired of this has been conservative blowhard schill for the total gym being treated as a godlike being because someone decided to start some of the most dumbass memes on the net? Yeah he's actually a real person, unlike everyone else on this list, I guess being a parody of one's self has it's perks.
Oh and this is the funniest Chuck Norris fact.
4- Drizzt Do'Urden- Anyone who has ever slung a d20 has heard of this jackhole, a renegade of an evil race meant to be foes for your player characters, Drizzt, has turned every munchkin player into a renegade Drow ranger with a dual wield feat for scimitars, assuming their DM will let them get by with it meanwhile R.A. Salvatore pumps out book after book of munchkin mental masturbation, the result? Pissing off DMs everywhere who are sick of hearing it from wannabes.
3- Boba Fett- The Baddest ass Bounty Hunter of the Star Wars Saga? well think about this he is based on the same genetic template as EVERY INCOMPETENT ASS STORM TROOPER!! This also might explain why other than standing around looking cool all he really did is tie up Luke for a second before getting accidentally killed by a blind guy and his pet wookie. Seriously, why is this guy so damn popular again. I get it when I was a kid he was a big mystery one 8 minute shot on the Star Wars Holiday Special, and the first free mail away figure in the Star Wars line, He was a cool enigma, now we know him, we've met his dad, and seen his home, and watched him die like a little bitch, let it go he just ain't all that!
2- Deadpool- Ah yeah, the Merc with a mouth, everyone's favorite rip off of Deathstroke the Terminator, mixed with Ambush Bug. Need I mention he was co created by Rob Liefeld? I understand other writers may have polished this turd into something magical, but to me he's a one trick pony that has been done better by others. but yet the fans love gives us Deadpool the video game, the Deadpool Corps (seriously!?) and The annoying mouthless supermutant in X-men origins, Wolverine which every fanboy has lamented to this day played by Ryan (please stop me from being in a comic based movie) Reynolds.
1- Wolverine- What can I say, I have never understood the attraction. Woo Hoo, he's got knives that come out of his knuckles! WOW what a power! He can regenerate so fast that any heroic sacrifice is anything but, plus he's got unbreakable bones. He's a colossal jerk playing up the "dark loaner" Image to the point of who gives a crap? He's had his origin redone several times to make him "cooler" Still not cool enough, let's give him a son named un-ironically enough "Dark Wolverine" and a daughter called X-23, so we can have our wolverine and our cute dark haired goth girl fantasies all in one. Seriously one of the most over rated characters I have ever run across.
Oh, I have got this. I have Sooooo got this. In fact I have already started work on this (much to my Wife's chagrin!) About 3 years ago, I had some extra cash our new house and some time off coming up so I bought my first piece from ebay and had to drive to St. Louis to pick it up. Gave my wife a chance to visit the St. Louis Zoo, so it all worked out. My Neo Geo MVS. I chose this for a first arcade machine for one reason. If I never get another machine, it is able to change games by swaping out cartridges like a home console meaning that owning only one machine does not mean I am both incredible at and totally sick of Pac Man, or Frogger, or Street Fighter II.
This was it when I brought it home with a copy of Samurai Showdown II in the slot. I have since put in a 179 in one cart including all of the Samurai Showdown series, all the Metal Slug games, as well as Capcom Vs SNK, most of the King of Fighters games and a few more essoteric games like Captain Tomaday, Matrimelee, Far East of Eden, and even Bomberman. Not bad for $450.00. If You don't believe me just listen to Keith Apicary , he makes a decent case for it's awesomeness.
Here is a pic of me and my kid with my Neo Geo, 4 bright buttons and all
My next piece I am going to build into my Garage, I have a 2 car, and I think that while this is not a commercial arcade game installing it would be something I would do if I had the unlimited resources to build my own mega arcade.
This is a networked Live action party game using 6 pc's to simulate a bridge operation ala Star Trek, this video shows it off better than I can explain it and it's just damn cool!
I have 2 spare PCs and a university surplus store about 1/2 hour from my door, This will be one of those slow builds If I can get it up and running. My plan is to take over the garage with a customized bridge panels and use a projector to put up the main screen. I just need to reinstall XP media center on the desktop in my basement, the requirements for the game are decently low. Looks slick No?
As for the next thing I would put on the list, it is something no arcade worth it's salt would be without. A pinball Machine!
Unless you are like 12 years old, any trip to an arcade probably included one of these. And no matter how much they increase the processing power, polygons and gigaflops, you can't simulate the sheer joy of seeing that silver ball against the laquered playfield flying up ramps and hitting the flippers. Truly magical and one thing I want for my own.
Now from here on we get into the if money were no object items. The first is Galaxy Force II by Sega, it was a game I only got to play a few times but it felt just like piloting a goddamn starfighter in a way Star Wars Arcade, and it's 2003 revamp never could. Thanks to the hydraulic lifts moving the cabin around like a flight sim and the amazing controls, this one would have to go in my dream collection.
Next the Retro Geek in me has to go for this one Computer Space one of the first Arcade machines developed, it made an appearance in Soylent Green, the classic look of this one and a Pong would be a perfect museum piece to show just how far video games have come.
Next I would like to get some Japanese games some of the oddball ones such as Sonic Fighter, and Parodius just because they have some fun and wacky designs!
As for the rest of the games, (PacMan, Donkey Kong, Q-Bert, Frogger, Gauntlet, and Spy Hunter etc. I would probably be a bit of a philistine and get a Mame Arcade cabinet, just to save on electricity, and space. while yeah if I had space I would certainly have a warehouse with classics, rarities and big names but the realist in me knows this will be easier and cheaper in the long run!
So the new challange is if I were a sports agent whom would I sign, that would be easy
I would have to start with Jeffery Lebowski, expert Bowler, and If I were to start a team, an excellent coach, the Dude abides, and he has Walter for all the screaming and yelling, and Donnie for all the technical stuff.
As for athletes from the world of Pop Culture, I have quite a few Ideas, First off Bobby Bouche, an incredible athlete, and offensive tackle. A man with strategy (visualize and then attack) and he performs double duty on the field, what's not to like?
Now for my next choice, I am going Olympic, and I want to make it clear that magic is not the same as juicing. I will not abide performance enhancing drugs (but magic potions are not the same) They were a hit at the Olympic Games (Cesear said so) Asterix and Obelix, Olympic champions and definitely not juicing (magic DOES NOT count as juicing!)
Speaking of magic and sports I am also going to claim Harry Potter and the whole Griffyndor Quidich team, it's a rough sport as is but add that he survived attacks by he who must not be named, and live, he could make a mint going pro!
and last (But by no means least) a man who makes Chuck Norris piss his pants in terror, Mr. Brock Sampson! Seriously compare Chuck to Brock, Brock has done way more awesome things (and doesn't have to hock the total gym to make extra scratch!) Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Walker, Texas Ranger!
To mess with one must be suicidal or perpetually inebriated, which explains this picture with Sterling Archer,
If I had to guess this will be how Archer meets his maker.
SO I really enjoyed writing that blog about Mike Pondsmith and R. Talsorian games, and it got me thinking. part of having nerd rage against the way my favorite characters, comics and properties are treated is due to how I viewed such things when I was younger. Had I no passion or love for say DC Comics, why would I blog about what a travesty casting Ryan Reynolds in it was. I also Didn't like him in Waiting,or Van Wilder which were both pretty shitty movies, but as I did not care about the idea of the film before, Ryan Reynolds' sub par performances weren't sending me into any Nerd Rage at all, just a meh, and a turn of the channel. So in that spirit I think it's important to look at things that made me the Nerd so willing to Rage that I am today, and this next one is a subject near and dear to any true geeks heart. They are the source of so many of my own childhood memories, and even today I collect them obsessively. so without further adeiu, here is my next nerd praise, Mego!
Mego is best known for their ubiquitous 8" action figures. Sure they were hardly the first to come up with the idea of a 8" "action figure" with removable clothing, but they were the best known, and best loved. Starting in 1971, Mego began using their own brand of 8" figure under the name Action Jackson, as a cheap way to get some of that filthy G.I. Joe luchre. Taking a less military vibe Action Jackson like Mattel's own Big Jim, was more generic man of action than say specific military man. His comercial's jingle, "Think of what you want to be, then call on me!"sent kids into action but this was not their hot ticket item.
However Action Jackson would lay the groundwork for their use of the same figure's body to take on licenses such as Wizard of Oz, The Waltons, and of course the world's greatest Superheroes. Not until Wizkids' collectable miniatures game heroclix would we see a company hold both Marvel and DC licenses. using the same small amount of separate bodies and different costumes Mego was able to make a host of different heroes from both comic companies cheaply and easily. Superman, Spiderman, Batman and Robin all shared the same body, with different heads, possibly re-colored hands and different costumes/ accessories.
The result was lightning in a bottle. Mego's figures were not the best sculpted, not the greatest articulation but they were very well done for the time and inexpensive enough for most kids to get ahold of. And just look at these cool commercials.
Mego also got some other great licenses in Star Trek, Planet of the Apes, Dukes of Hazard, and C.H.I.P.S. They were also great at reusing parts for different effects. the Star Trek Gorn Figure was a Marvel Lizard painted brown and wearing a Klingon uniform with Klingon Phaser and Communicator. The Mugato, was a special set of head and feet placed on a figure wearing the Cochise costume from thier wild west series. in short making customs from their own library of parts the way later fans would do. In fact as a kid I used to pop the heads off of them and try to change them around, (when yeah, changing costumes would have probably been easier,) and eventually I would need my mom's help to put the head back on, but using fonzie's body for superman, he could give the rest of the Superfriends a Thumbs up! Years later as my mom would chide me for it I would explain the hobby of action figure customizing, declaring my five year old self as ahead of my time.
Mego dies some time in the early 1980s killed by financial trouble and a lack of hit toys to put them back in the game as Star Wars and GI Joe/ Transformers would take the spotlight. It was a time when small stores kept toys on the shelf for years as opposed to today where a line may be lucky to have a shelf life of a year. Look at the playmates Star Trek movie figures, for example killed in one wave, and hasbro who has the license and could make 3.75" Star Trek Figures in the same quality as Star Wars/ GI Joe, has held off due to the volatile nature of the industry. instead just a few freaking Kreo Toys and some squishy crap. It really makes me nostalgic for what Mego accomplished, sure they had their share of flops (Cher, and Jordache anyone) but they inspired a slew of customizers, hobbyists and fans. even today EMCE, Mattel, Zica, TV Classic Toys, Bif Bang Pow, and others are making mego style figures to fill the gap left by this once great company. Even some obscure but cool figures like my 8" Big Lebowski (Complete with Rug!), or the Real Ghostbusters, and Sam Jones' Flash Gordon. So While many have written more about them, and there are plenty of people still supporting them (Doctor Mego, and Mego Museum just for starters!) I felt like I could not call my self a geek, or have any street cred as a geek without a bit of waxing nostalgic about them. In fact when Bif Bang Pow got the license for the venture brothers I had hoped that for the San Diego Comicon Exclusive they would do The Alchemist and Jefferson twilight as a repainted Mego Falcon and Spock, as Doctor Orpheus had made as demonstrations of potential merchandising. God I love that show, and the fact that they love mego and it shows in the series made me all that more excited to get the mego ventrue bros!
So first off sorry I have been so late on this post, but I have had some family issues and other stuff going on, but now I have a quick moment to blog, so here we go. I suggested this one and I find it hard to come up with a straight answer,but here we go. In difference to Cal, I would love to bring back Firefly. While I will not deny what the show was able to do in 14 scant episodes, just watching how Joss Wheadon's Buffy the vampire slayer went from interestingly watchable to can't turn off the damn DVD player in just a couple of seasons. To me the ultimate testimony to how this show evolved came from my brother who was also a Firefly fan after I showed it to him. I begged him to try Buffy, and my older less geeky guy who works in a quarry brother, only was willing to give the show a chance because he wanted to also borrow my season 1 of Smallville. He almost immediately returned Smallville, because it "sucked" and asked for season 2 of Buffy. then some of his friends ended up borrowing them and next thing I know my disks are all over town. FIrefly had very similar potential to be a great science fiction, even one that could have dwarfed Star Wars and Star Trek, it had all the elements a well defined world, great hooks and most importantly characters that you could get emotionally involved in. I always said how firefly begged to be an RPG just by the characters, in fact my brother's friend Dave, would have made a character just like Jayne, and any GM worth his salt would have treated him to just as much hell. I have even thought that a decent compromise would be to get Joss Wheadon to write a pilot and a few episodes of a new Star Trek series casting Fillion as Commadore Matt Decker, and Giving him a first officer with the last name of Slone (the name of Zephram Cochrane's assistant) granted I was inspired by this pick but damn it it could work!!
As for Brian's wish for more Buck Rogers, I hope this helps, I have heard James Crawley the guy behind the incredible (if not slow to production) Star Trek Phase two has been working on bringing Rogers back to the small screen, (unless your pc is hooked to a projector then, big screen!)
As for Big IV, I hear ya brotha' on the Captain Power, and fond this link to MTV's Geek Page marked on 3-5-2013 so mayhbe Phoenix Rising is still in the works. Let's hope
As for me, Beyond Firefly for TV I would have to want to bring back DYNAMAN!
I know if you just look at the clip above and don't hit play it looks like a week power rangers rip off, but that's quite the opposite, back in the days before the internet, viral videos were only found on show like nickelodeon's Turkey TV, and USA's Night Flight. and this was the cream of the crop. taking it's concept form the same Sentai shows that would later morph into power rangers (pun intended) the basic differences are two, one they did NOT dare replace the secret identity scenes with localized american actors (they just dubbed the hell out of the original Japanese footage) and 2, it was most definitely not designed to sell action figures to small children. involving a few Kids in the Hall Alums (most notably Mark Mackinney) the show a ritous romp through downtown Tokyo with all the wit and style of MST3000, without the need for shilloettes. plus they added American pop music for the soundtrack, nothing like hearing James Brown's living in America, blasting as a giant robot mothership goes soaring over Tokyo. This show was killed when Saban got the rights for Bandai's sentai series and put that abortion Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers on the air. Sure Kimberly was kinda hot, but so was Dynapink!! I would love to see this crew get back together and either finish the dynaman episodes they didn't lampoon or start fresh with another Sentai series (lord knows there aren't enough of them to redub!)
So recent TV news states that Matt Smith, is hanging up his sonic screwdriver and Tardis key, at the end of the current series. This is one of the most ambivalent regeneration a in my mind, because while I like Matt Smith as an actor, much of his run has been pretty crappy. Besides the worst companion to date in River Song (Seriously! worse than like 10 Adrics!), the show just seemed to put too much schmaltz in the doctor /companion relationship. As well as the almot godlike way they seemed to try to turn the doctor into a bit more of a Mary Sue in his own right. Even the set up in Tennant's last episode of the Doctor turned into an exercise in teary eyed nostalgia, and of course ditching the whole of Galifrey annoyed me almost as much as the trying to make the master a much more sympathetic character. but enough about that Matt Smith will be the Doctor no more after the Doctor Who christmas special.
So now comes the big part who will play the new doctor? Of course theories are flying even this early. John Hurt is probably one of the biggest names, and of course the ever popular speculation of the doctor swapping genders. Stephan Moffat had actually done this in the Comic Relief parody of Doctor Who, Doctor Who, and the Curse of the Fatal Death, and he caught quite a bit of hell for it. So we shall see.
So now what? Who do we place in command of the Tardis? Who will end up as the new Doctor? My opinion is we need a break from the more romantic types. David Tennant was a guy that turned many a gal to becoming whovians and as for Smith, people started his run comparing his looks to those of Twilight actor Robert Pattinson, I always thought he looked like a cross between Edward Cullen and Herman Munster. That aside, The Doctor has changed both in looks and persona many times some more action oriented, some more cerebral, some more hunky, some more parental. So for me let's break from the romantics and go with someone like David Mitchell.
As a comedian with 2 hit comedy shows under his belt, (Peep Show, and that Mitchell Webb look), Mitchell can play the Doctor adding wit and charm to the role, along with his comic irritability harkens back to the earlier Doctors, Hartnell, Troughton, and Pertwee. He is young enough to not make shocking change like say John Hurt, but is not by any stretch teen heart throb material. Here is a bit from his web series David Mitchell's soap box that may help you see what I mean.
In my mind a perfect person to play the doctor after the way the show has went to bring it back from where it is. That being said I doubt they will cast him. Unless Moffat goes too, we will probably see more of the same from whatever actor turned timelord we should get.
So, here is the deal I have always loved Babylon-5. In my mind it was far superior to Star Trek Deep Space Nine. J. Michael Stryzinski crafted a 5 year story arc that took risks that Star Trek never could. In tng, and ds9 there were multiple promises of the heroes going rogue from the federation. the first season ender of TNG was called conspiracy parts 1&2. In which the enterprise had to "go rogue" to save the federation from an evil outside influence. 2 hours later all is well the federation has nothing but praise for Picard's actions, and no harm, no foul. In Insurrection the whole plot was about the crew rebelling against star fleets wishes. And again in under 2 hours, it is well known that the admiral who set this up was flawed, even saw the error of his ways and Picard for all his bucking of the systems, was in the right, no harm, no foul. But in Babylon 5 they had an actuall coup that did not resolve in under 2 hours, the crew didn't just get proven to be in the right and all is forgiven, it had a civil freaking war, and fallout. the show also had one of the most incredible time travel episodes of all time. Planned in first season,we wouldn't see the fruits of the set up for a couple of seasons. But it was totally worth it. part of this was due to the first season ender in which commander Jeffery Sinclair (played by the late Michael O'Hare) was mysteriously replaced by John Sherridan (Played by Tron alum Bruce Boxlietner). While rumors would fly as to why mostly about wanting a bigger name for the lead, Stryzinski had stated it was all part of the story. And as O'Hare did come back for a large 2 parter that did seem to cleaver ate this story. Truth or not, it was clear O'Hare left on good terms. Had this been a poor parting, we probably would have seen what happened with Star Trek 2 and 3, Kirsty Alley had over estimated her value to the movie franchise demanded more money, and by Star Trek 3, Saavik was being played by Robin Curtis. But in con appearances, and all other public forums there had been absolutely no bad blood, or any reason to believe that this was anything but the way the show was meant to go.
Fast forward to today, Recently J. Michael Stryzinski came forward with another version of events. Apparently now that O'Hare has passed Stryzinski came forth with the fact that O'Hare was suffering from some pretty severe mental disorders. A secret he had kept for some time apparently, O'Hare realized the show was just getting its legs, and decided to leave of his own accord. Having never heard this it was sad to know that O'Hare was so troubled, and noble that he did what he did. Stryzinski also showed some class by waiting until some time after his death. After all this really is a personal matter for O'Hare, and his loved ones. Not a spectacle for fans to pick his life apart. I for one was completely satisfied with the original he left because it was part of the character's story, and never felt the need to delve deeper. stryzinskiss big reveal dis surprise some people but people who listen to O'hare's former co-star Jerry Doyle on his syndicated conservative talk radio show, came out saying Doyle had already said as much on multiple occasions. Complaining that O'Hare was hard to work with and a "whack job." Damn. Way to stay classy Jerry Doyle. I have only listened to your show once or twice, mostly because he is on the other end of the political spectrum, from me. But I can dislike someone's politics and still respect them. But for someone to bitch and moan and air his dirty laundry about a fellow cast member's demons is total crap. This wasn't some this guy was a jerk to everyone on set scenario, the man had some personal demons, and was clearly trying to handle them considering you don't hear the rest of the cast pissing and moaning about it. this is especially funny considering that Doyle brings up his work on Babylon 5 even in the intro of the show, his damn website for the show uses the same freaking font. Listen Jerry, Sean Hannity, was in the siege with Denzel Washington, he doesn't feel the need to put that in his shows intro. It's kind of sad that you have to cling to your acting credentials when your radio show has nothing to do with science, sci fi, or even acting. So in short, while I loved Babylon 5, and even love the character of Michael Garabaldi, I have little respect for the actor who played him. Stay classy Jerry, or ,auberge get some class huh?
With the revolving door deaths, constant reboots, and reimagings, not to mention retconning, and all the foolish, foolish changes. I think we can all agree the comic industry is in a mess. O.K. Not the whole comic industry, you can point to some great books like Cerebus, Scott Pilgrim, Bone, and The Tick that haven't become a clusterhump of continuity errors, screw ups and flat out crap that has ruined most major comics.
The problem is really two fold. first comics like soap operas are designed to keep the same story going indefinitely. In All My Children for example the show started with Susan Lucci playing a teenaged Erica Kane, now 43 years later the show has been forced to evolve with her as an adult, and while I have not followed the show (yeah all the previous info was thanks to a quick Wikipedia search.) I know that there has been a lot of cartoony and cockamamie plots covering it's 40+ year run. You also see that With the Simpsons. the plots begin to contradict themselves. I recall an episode where Homer lamented never following his dreams of being a rocker, yet he was part of a resurgence of barbershop quartets with his band the B-sharps, and was the Kurt Cobain like frontman for the grunge band Sadgasm. Both while Bart was younger or not born. This is what happens when characters continue on and on with never an end in sight, all good things come to an end. Something Marvel and DC clearly take issue with. After all actually ending Spiderman or Green Lantern would mean selling less of either, and that siomply cannot happen.
The other big issue is one that is unique to US comics. The idea of a shared universe that slaps everything and the kitchen sink into it. When DC bought Fawcett publications Captain Marvel ceased being Superman's chief rival for sales and became a more minor part of the DC universe. When they bought Charlton the same thing happened. When Malibu was acquired by Marvel in the 1990s Prime, Hardcase, and the Exiles (now X-iles!) all became an integrated part of the marvel universe. not seperate but published by. I mean it was now possible for Prime to have a conversation with Captain America, or for Sweetface to apply to the Xavier School for gifted youngsters. And when Jim Lee went to DC he slapped wildstorm, his own label into the DCU. now Grifter can hang with Batman, and the possibility of a Daemonite invasion hitting earth can be stopped by the local Green Lanterns on duty. Imagine of other media did this. James Bond, is produced by MGM, but so was UHF. does this mean that we must assume that the two should coexist in the same universe? Or in litierature because Harry Potters American rights are with Scholastic does that mean that they are part of the Scholatic universe/metaverse, are hogwarts students actively helping rebel against the capital of Panem from the Hunger Games in the future, as they are the same publisher? No so why is this the case in comics it makes for horrible storytelling, and slapdash connections. Don't believe me Patton Oswalt did an amazing bit trying to link the Marvel Universe to the Star Wars universe in this clip from parks and recreations-
Of course this also links Tron, the Black Hole, Escape from Witch Mountain,Cars, Toy Story and Ratatouille to Star Wars and Marvel but who's counting right?
So what is the solution? Here is my thoughts.
I- have one more (and final) big universe shattering storyline to end these comic universes as we know it. DC can call it Crisis 2 electric boogaloo, or whatever. the point of this is to break free from the old system entirely. it's done, over kaput.
II- wait one month for new comics, yeah I know it's a business but I think the time of mourning can give a sense to the change, rather than just do more business as usual. At this point you can number your books back to 1 if you like but now we operate the comics industry under some new rules. These rules listed below will make it easier for a newbie to get into any given comic, and do away with the other big problem comics have which is that as iconic figures any major change you make will invariably piss someone off. Heck the current writer of Spiderman had death threats over his whole doc ock mind swap bit, come on people.
1- each book is an island on to itself- No writer need ever be forced to push the entire marvel universe into one book. as they are co owned characters the writer can use them in his book, but what the characters do in the book is no longer connected to another. DC did this with it's All Star Series, Batman was a damn near sociopath in All Star Batman, yet when Superman talks about him in All Star Superman, he describes a completely different Batman, much the way that Christopher Nolan's Batman films portray the same character of Batman as Brave and the Bold did but in entirely different ways.
2- The basics aside the creative team tells the story from their continuity until they are done. Once they leave the book, the new creative team starts with a clean slate with the character(s) in this scenarios creative teams should expect to stay with it for some time not juggle from one book to the next. we keep the continuity simple, to the level that can be introduced in say a movie, a writer's bible if you will for each book, and while you start at the same point, the sky is the limit. You can then use the characters to tell more and differing kinds of stories knowing that the basics are just that and remain, this is also how you package them once you make them into graphic novels. more like comics in other countries. This frees the writer to do what he wants killed spidey at the end of your run, that's fine the next volume of Spiderman will start with all the basics in place, just the way a new movie series or animated series would. no more trying to track 53 years of actions from getting bitten by a radioactive spider, to meeting a girl, watching her die meeting another girl , getting a symbiotic costume who turns into an antihero who wants to kill you and who spawns another suit for a mass murderer, marrying the girl, finding out you have a clone, finding out your aunt is going to die, making a pact with the devil to lose your one true love to get your aunt back some life only to find out your powers actually come from a mystical spider totem BS.
3- block off these stories by volume numbers so we don't have to keep going back to number 1 AND lose the fact that the book has been around for a long time. A number one sells mostly because it represents a good starting point for a new reader. Sure there is always some dumbass who believes that buying a #1 will somehow become an investment (if so I have a shit ton of Jim Lee's X-men #1 to sell you at $10.00 each) the industry needs to be less about collecting and speculating for value and more about accessing an audience. In french comics I can still pick up the first adventures of Asterix (a beloved french comic) for the price of an average graphic novel, and while i am sure first prints may have value similar to an Avengers#4, or Green Lantern #16, It's not unaccessable, and while we sell compalations here it often becomes hard to go back that far as so few non fans expect the eccentricities, (GL's racist nickname for his sidekick, or X-men going so long without Wolvereen) So this is where the market need to go.
