Top Ten disappointing video games

So just to be clear, this is not a list of the top ten worst video games, As that list is going to have a lot of familiar complaints (such as attacking E.T. on the Atari, or Cheetahmen on the NES) This list is games that  disappointed me. It's a pretty subjective list but it you may notice some obvious titles missing such as Duke Nukem for Xbox360/PS3. It didn't disappoint simply because I had no expectations of this game being worth a damn and only played the demo. But again these are games I felt the need to complain about some may have good points but all fell flat in some way.

10- Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 2 (X-Box 360) While the game itself is actually pretty good, especially the demo level where you are escaping Vader's fortress, it is also painfully short. I mean really short. I beat this one in less than a weekend, with time to do all sorts of other things. by comparison part 1 took me like 3 weeks. This game should have been an add on pack instead of a full game.

9- Kengo Legend of the Nine (X-Box 360) In my opinion, the best fighting game bar none is a little title released by square called Bushido Blade. Any company rereleasing this with updated graphics on an current gen console will indeed bet my money! It is an almost simulation of sword fighting, with pl;ayers choosing different weapons, and each character having expertise in some more than other. but it didn't stop there. You could kill a man in one good swing, no life bars, no whiz bang special moves, and damage affects you correctly. You get an arm hit, the limb is far less useful. So when Kengo, a samurai era fighting game from the developers of Bushido Blade came out, yeah I jumped. and then I played it. In short it has all the earmarks of a typical fighter with the theme of Bushido Blade kinda in there somewhere. Serious letdown. Just do me a favor. take the original game update it to PS3/4/Xbox 1 style graphics and you have a sale otherwise don't waste my time.

8- Heavy Rain (PS3) I knew going in that this wasn't supposed to be Halo, or Uncharted. It was meant from the get go to be an interactive movie. However, the best movies draw your players in the first 10 minutes. This game lets you simulate waking up in the morning in a way that makes the Sims seem like an FPS. Snooze fest. What little I got out of this title was please no more.

7- Circus Maximus (X-Box) This game actually prompted me to buy an X-box, the idea of historical chariot racing and combat was appealing enough to make me think this is the kind of games I would love to try Bought this and Halo the same time, and well I finished Halo, and forgot the name of this stinking turd until i started researching this article too much going on for one player but 2 player is boring as watching paint peel.

6- The Adventures of Willy Beamish (Sega CD) Before Heavy Rain pushed the interactive movie idea, Dynamix did so for Sega's Sega CD taking advantage of the new audio and video technology to make a new kind of interactive adventure. Crippling load times and less than rewarding game play make me really regret spending actual money on this. 

5- Red Steel (Wii) So the Wii will let me aim a controller like a gun? WOW! and that should make FPS games more real right? Meh, after an hour my arms were tired and I was bored of this so so attempt to make a hard edged FPS for the Wii.

4- Final Fantasy Dissidia (PSP) So since Square made Bushido Blade another fighter from the same company might be worth it right? but I better download the demo just to be sure. So far not bad it seems like a fluid but very different fighting game. Hey look there is the full game, let's pick it up. And then let's drop it like a hot rock for being almost nothing like the demo.

3- X-Men (NES) Back in the day a friend of mine found this game in an arcade the cartridge just sitting there, so he swiped it. He invited me to try it. Maybe he said he swiped it to hide the shame of paying actual real currency for this game which has as much to do with X-men style drama and action as A documentary on Stephen Hawking's life will have hardcore martial arts action. PASS!

2- Grand Theft Auto III A lot has been said of this sandbox game and for the most part popular games are popular for a reason. I felt like i was playing a crazed autistic who would beat upon anyone he met, and then hide from the cops. My experience with this game was poor enough to sour me on sandbox games for some time the Godfather was a much better game.

1- Gladius (X-Box) As game companies go, Lucas Arts has always had a great reputation. While most games based on movies suck, X-wing, Tie Fighter StarWars Battlefront all amazing. and then there are the non star wars games, Loom, Curse of Monkey Island, Maniac Mansion,and Grim Fandango all instant classics. So a combat game of gladitorial combat, how could they screw this up? apparently supremely easily. the game used RPG style combat ala Final Fantasy and long ass cutscenes. why in a game where visceral combat was the whole point would you go to some bullshit JRPG combat scheme? It boggles the damned mind! Recently Lucas Arts folded after several disappointing games and being bought by Disney. After this game I am less saddened by this news.

To Infinity?, I doubt I will go much beyond...

In 2006, Mattel took it's second foray into videogames. No longer squaring off against the likes of Atari, or Coleco, Mattel was about to take on Playstation 3 and Xbox-360, with their new machine. And while it did not have the HD compatibility, blu-ray internals or hardcore titles Like Halo, or Final Fantasy, they did have one thing an incredible marketing strategy. Using an RFID reader, in conjuntion with a CD-Rom, Mattel's Hyperscan, would allow players to use collectable trading cards to upgrade their games with new characters, powers and other stuff. In short making the customer buy expansions for a game with a physical value. with how hot collectable card games like Yu-Gi-Oh, and Pokemon were this thing could have been Mattel's license to print money. but underpowerd guts, horrible load times, and being placed in the toy aisle, not the electronics aisle prettymuch killed the Hyperscan's bid to put Mattel back in the console business, but perhaps it was a bit ahead of it's time. 

At least that must have been Activision's theory when they created an RFID accessory and figures with RFID tags in their bases for the kids video game Skylanders. again kids will go nuts for toys that will also enhance their gameplay. but as Activision cleverly made it an accessory for all 3 big consoles and sells PVC figures instead of cards, the idea took off like gangbusters. How gangbusters you may ask? Enough so for Disney to decide they want their own piece of that filthy filthy Skylanders cash. 

And that in a Nutshell is the premise behind Disney's Infinity. The game is actually a series of lukewarm sandbox games tied together with a minecraftesque build your own world. The Disney Infinity figures, which are stylized PVC figures possessing no articulation, and the ubiquitous RFID tag base. in short they are selling add on DLC as a physical item, and with a considerable mark up. The average "new character" is about $0.99 which is $12.00 less than the average Infinity figure. Now at first I was actually kind of O.K. with this, my daughter, who is not at the age where she plays video games, seemed to fall in love with the figurines, and as the RFID is sealed in a plastic casing I don't have a large worry about her damaging them. However a few odd things. Firstly, the game's tutorial (because that's how games work nowadays, no one has time to read a manual, so let's give them a tutorial!) goes on and on (at infinitum) about the power of imagination. it's in fact, supposed to be the central theme of the game, a bit like it is in the little big planet game series. However maybe it's the lack of the dulcet tones of Mr. Stephen Fry talking about the power of imagination, but the whole damn thing feels artificial. 

Also within the sandbox games you are forced to keep to a very specific regimen. Only characters from the incredibles can be in the incredibles game and never any others, wanna play Jack Sparrow in Monster University? Too bad. Wanna change characters mid adventure (such as from Violet to Dash in the increedibles) Nope, you play the same character, or start the entire game world over again. Both of these seem like very stifling tactics for a game that espouses the value of imagination. I can understand that Disney wants to protect it's IP, but since all of the elements and the world is all generated by Disney, we aren't going to see any objectionable content by letting Mr. Incredible use his powers in the world of the Lone Ranger, or even change characters between sessions. Sure some are going to be ill- suited for some games/ worlds, the inability to climb may really make any of the Cars characters have a tough time in the incredibles, but this is the kind of organic trial and error thing that players would enjoy, and would allow players to explore possibilities. Now much of this CAN be done in the minecrafteqsue toybox mode, however in a game about imagination and that pushes that word as much as this does it seems to be a questionable decision. Now one other thing on the physical figures, as I mentioned earlier, my daughter loves them. In fact she loves them so much she has been known to pluck the figures off the desk while being used and hide them. So imagine if your favorite game had physical components (beyond just the disk, and controler) that MUST be connected to the console to continue, and f lost you either have to start over or not play. I spent 2 hours looking all over for Mrs Incredible, while reviewing this because my daughter thought she should be set under the couch. and the power disk, still remains MIA. 

Another new thing is the game has ads, (of a sort) littered throughout the game worlds are videos to show off and extol the virtues of the other characters. This takes the game out of the realm of memorabilia into advertising to you paid for by you. they are already pushing characters for upcoming films by showing the videogame characters in promotion during the game. Considering the core game is $75 with 3 character figures and the infinity RFID reader (called the toybox), and the software. then add an additional $13.00 for each individual figure or $30.00-$35.00 for 3 packs or 2 packs with an additional "world icon", you can see how this game can start to get very costly very quickly. This is also more useful for them to pass off than the deluge of cheaply made video games based on new movies, Case in point, why make a Lone Ranger video game that few will play considering the potential unpopularity of the film, but if you already spent for infinity and are a completist, you will spend $35.00 for the Lone Ranger character pack and play the lone ranger missions for the bonuses they may give to the infinity experience as a whole? This is the future of disney interactive, and I can see them pulling in Star Wars and Marvel this way as well, Why not? There is already some ESPN inspired terrain in the game and muppet costumes, why not add these other 2 cash cow properties? 

In the end I am probably not their core demographic, I get that, I am sure my daughter when she comes of age will probably be more into it than I am but in short I got into this both due to colleagues gushing over it, and getting it on discount, but I don't know how far beyond I would want to go with Infinity. 

League of Extraordinary Bloggers: The Ultimate Arcade!

Oh, I have got this. I have Sooooo got this. In fact I have already started work on this (much to my Wife's chagrin!) About 3 years ago, I had some extra cash our new house and some time off coming up so I bought my first piece from ebay and had to drive to St. Louis to pick it up. Gave my wife a chance to visit the St. Louis Zoo, so it all worked out. My Neo Geo MVS. I chose this for a first arcade machine for one reason. If I never get another machine, it is able to change games by swaping out cartridges like a home console meaning that owning only one machine does not mean I am both incredible at and totally sick of Pac Man, or Frogger, or Street Fighter II.

This was it when I brought it home with a copy of Samurai Showdown II in the slot. I have since put in a 179 in one cart including all of the Samurai Showdown series, all the Metal Slug games, as well as Capcom Vs SNK, most of the King of Fighters games and a few more essoteric games like Captain Tomaday, Matrimelee, Far East of Eden, and even Bomberman. Not bad for $450.00. If You don't believe me just listen to Keith Apicary , he makes a decent case for it's awesomeness.

Here is a pic of me and my kid with my Neo Geo, 4 bright buttons and all

My next piece I am going to build into my Garage, I have a 2 car, and I think that while this is not a commercial arcade game installing it would be something I would do if I had the unlimited resources to build my own mega arcade.

This is a networked Live action party game using 6 pc's to simulate a bridge operation ala Star Trek, this video shows it off better than I can explain it and it's just damn cool!

I have 2 spare PCs and a university surplus store about 1/2 hour from my door, This will be one of those slow builds If I can get it up and running. My plan is to take over the garage with a customized bridge panels and use a projector to put up the main screen. I just need to reinstall XP media center on the desktop in my basement, the requirements for the game are decently low. Looks slick No?

As for the next thing I would put on the list, it is something no arcade worth it's salt would be without. A pinball Machine!

Unless you are like 12 years old, any trip to an arcade probably included one of these. And no matter how much they increase the processing power, polygons and gigaflops, you can't simulate the sheer joy of seeing that silver ball against the laquered playfield flying up ramps and hitting the flippers. Truly magical and one thing I want for my own.

Now from here on we get into the if money were no object items.  The first is Galaxy Force II by Sega, it was a game I only got to play a few times but it felt just like piloting a goddamn starfighter in a way Star Wars Arcade, and it's 2003 revamp never could. Thanks to the hydraulic lifts moving the cabin around like a flight sim and the amazing controls, this one would have to go in my dream collection.

Next the Retro Geek in me has to go for this one Computer Space one of the first Arcade machines developed, it made an appearance in Soylent Green, the classic look of this one and a Pong would be a perfect museum piece to show just how far video games have come.

Next I would like to get some Japanese games some of the oddball ones such as Sonic Fighter, and Parodius just because they have some fun and wacky designs!

As for the rest of the games, (PacMan, Donkey Kong, Q-Bert, Frogger, Gauntlet, and Spy Hunter etc. I would probably be a bit of a philistine and get a Mame Arcade cabinet, just to save on electricity, and space. while yeah if I had space I would certainly have a warehouse with classics, rarities and big names but the realist in me knows this will be easier and cheaper in the long run!

So what about the rest of the league? Let's see what they have going on!
Cold Slither Podcast
Branded in the 80s
Cavalcade of Awesomeness.
The Nerd Nook 
Cal's Canadian Cave of Cool

X-box one, it's the end of the world as we know it, and I don't think I am fine with this...

So I know this article is late, family and work, and other hobbies have kept me from the blog, but I feel I need to chime in on microsoft's newest attempt to dominate our entertainment lives, the X-box one. It would be easy to assume from the upcoming rant that I am a sony fanboy who probably never gave the first X-box a chance but that simply is not the case. I went X-box back in college for Halo, and another game that was chariot racing based that did not hold up, but Halo, was what kept me going.

 I loved Crimson Skies, both Halos, Toe Jam and Earl, Danzer Dragoon Orta, Fable, Mechwarrior the Dark Ages, and spent a fair amount of time playing Destroy all Humans, and the Godfather on my huge black box with the neon green X on it. I even preferred the original controller to the later controller "S".  I went from the original 8 gig hard drive beauty to the 360 without question skipping the PS2 entirely (actually i just bought a ps2 like 6 months ago but that will come later in the story) Halo-3, Fable2,  The  Orange box, both Left 4 Dead games and Mirror's Edge kept me on the seat of my pants gaming wise until I got the Red Ring of Death, and some interesting news. Sony was doing a DCU MMO, I am clearly a DC over Marvel person, and While I am not an MMO junkie the idea of playing it on the consoles sucked me in. I got a 160 gb model and began to play. this first thing that made me seriously think about "switching sides" in the console war was sony's wacky concept of free online gaming. What? I don't have to pay sony like $60.00 a year for a feature I (to be fair) rarely use!. other than DCU, I have maybe played 5 games on my ps3 in online, and about the same for my 360. even worse Microsoft requires the $60.00 gold service to get to use netflix, facebook, or hulu, things that my PS3 does for FREE! I have since leanred to love Killzone (buying a used PS2 to play the first one even), uncharted, resistance, and even dig Sony's move which seems to have more hardcore gamer titles for a motion control device than Kinnect or Wii. Also, since the move just uses the existing Eye camera and a new controller it is cheaper and can be built into the system in installments. I personally like using the move equivalent of the nunchuck for my ps3 as a media controller when watching netflix of hulu on it.

But sadly this generation is coming to an end. Soon the 360 and the PS3 will be regarded as dinosaurs by the local Gamestops and Best Buys, Heralded by the release of Nintendo's new HD Wii with a tablet, known as the Wii U, the console market s pushing forward to the next generation. And Microsoft's big plan to dominate comes in the X-box one, a monolithic black box with a Kinnect baked in, like it or not. Microsoft also killing the reselling of games by forcing you to use the disk to download the game, and play from the hard drive, this means that your used games have no value as they are drmed onto the new device. and considering the stellar record 360 had with red ring of death, Imagine having to rebuy your whole damn collection should your xbox one go tits up, I am sure they will have some cloud backup for your account but like having to completely rework the basic idea of I buy a disk, I can use it in favor of I buy a disk to have license to play a game assuming microsoft allows me to. Should MS crash or decide to ban your ass from X box live, you may have a brick on your hands. Not a can't play on line but the game system is still perfectly.  viable but an honest to god, I just flushed $400+ down the drain brick. Am I the only one who is annoyed by the gilded playground mentality that most software companies are eschewing anymore. iOS, new Mac OS, and Windows 8 not to mention proprietary operating systems like you find on more modern game consoles. Corporations are turning products into services that they can keep us paying for, and this is not the way to go. It sure the hell isn't customer friendly.

Now of course they are going to show off some impressive specs and games to get players past the negatives that are plain as day (yeah I know I can still "buy" a used game from microsoft but that's not the point!) and yeah the new Kinnect is far more sensitive, and you can use it to control your TV, and cable system, (But my guess is MS will charge for the privilege) and their new innovation, besides glass which should allow Wii u like play from a tablet, is the illumiroom. a projector placed behind the players to "transform your living room into a bigger game experience"

Keep in mind that Kinnect and Xbox 360 did poorly in Japan, specifically because of the huge amount of space you needed to play with it. not everyone has a full sized living room capable of supporting Kinnect, and now we need to install a damn projector to make the gaming experience "complete" really MS? Why not just play on a real projector? At this point I fully understand that PS4 may be like this even more so. It could be infinitely more locked down, and user unfriendly, and if so I won't bother with it either. In all honesty the game console market is starting to become less about gaming and more about multimedia and as PCs become less like PCs and Consoles become more like PCs we are moving inexorably toward a controlled data environment where the power isn't in the hands of the users but the users are merely consumers. Sure we'll give MS, apple, Sony and Facebook etc. all sorts of marketing data (the thing they really want us to produce) but for now I'll pass on the "one" and I won't be surprised if this is Microsoft's least popular system to date.