Friday, October 25, 2013

In Defense of George Lucas or, Amy Farrah Fowler is full of crap.


I'll be straight with you, I have given up on the Big Bang Theory some time ago. Mostly because of the change in the show's dynamic. Once we brought on Amy and Bernadette the show has gone from Penny being the outsider looking in, and being accepted into the group on some kind of equal footing, to Penny being queen bee of her own group, and rolling her eyes at how big of dorks the men in her life are. This has really changed the show from a Frasier like feel of justifying but laughing with us to the TV equivalent of "let's laugh at the nerds!" So when I first heard the "incredible story" of how the character of Amy Farrah Fowler (played by former Blossom star Mayim Bialik) had rendered Raiders of the Lost Ark pointless naturally I was curious. Supposedly ruining one of the greatest action movies of my generation, with supposedly incredible and clever logic upset quite a few Indiana Jones fans!) It took me a while to see the episode. and To all those folks who wear Bazinga T-shirts, and think the show is some kind of Gospel. I can easily point out that despite her genius level I.Q., she is in fact so very and wholly without a doubt incorrect.

Her theory goes as follows, that without Indiana Jones' interferrence the events of the film would have played out the same. Belloq would still die along with a whole group of Nazis after stealing the Ark of the Covenant from it's resting place in the Well of Souls. "Oh no she didn't!" right? Sure Belloq pretty much signed his death warrant by throwing in with the third reich, but one small problem with her theory.

The flaw in the theory is this she implies that the wrath of God/Nazi slaughterfest that happened at the end of the movie was the whole point. all them dead German soldiers and officers would have dide regardless of Jones being there or not. but where did they take the Ark? Simple, they took it to the other side of an Island with a German submarine base on it. Now I highly doubt that opening the Ark, here to assure the Fuhrer's Prize would be confirmed before it's trip to Berlin was so important as to abandon a working shipyard in a time of war. In short not every soldier on the Island went to the opening of the arc more than half probably stayed at base to continue fueling, repair and monitoring for allied threats during the opening of the Ark. What's more any basic millitary protocol would have required some form of check in, after some amount of time, after they failed to check in,a search party would have been sent to report on the missing group. No Indiana Jones to hightail the Ark of the Island after the opening killed Toht, Deitrich, Belloq, means that once the German patrol came up on this scene of grizzly carnage caused by the wrath of God on the Nazis still would have left the Relic in the hands of the German millitary, and it may have been bombed, crated back to Berlin, or even dropped into the ocean. But due to Doctor Jones being present, he and Marion put it into the hands of US military intelligence. Where "top men" would study and pack it in a warehouse. Had it been left on the island we honestly have no Idea what the German army or Hitler would have done with the golden chest containing the fragments of the ten commandments. Thus while Indiana Jones may not have gotten the Ark for the University to study. his actions and his involvement with the  search for the Ark does indeed matter. His involvement did indeed change the outcome of events.

Look I am not the genius that Sheldon or Amy are supposed to be, but apparently I know a bit more about basic military protocol.

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